When is a duck not a duck? if you saw a mallard (or a drake yuk yuk) without a beak or webbed feet would it still be a duck? If you saw a pig with a ducks beak, webbed feet and duck feathers would it be more of a duck than the other?
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I really don’t seek sage replies to the question of ‘duck-ness’ but I’ve been watching a lot of CNN lately (Strike 1) and it has led me to ask two questions: 1) when is a duck not a duck? 2) At what point is a duck considered a duck, and by whom?
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Ok, ok. Enough about ducks. I have a huge aversion to foul.
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A few weeks ago I watched a press conference that Condoleezza Rice held at Stanford University giving aspiring journalists a taste of what I like to call ‘la SLAM!’ At one point a bold frosh (I assume) started questioning the torture tactics going on in Gitmo under her administration
“How are we supposed to continue promoting America as this guiding light of democracy and how are we supposed to win hearts and minds in the world as long as we continue with these actions?
The match was going well, at first. He talked about torture, she talked about the 3K people who died in 9/11, he mentioned that more people have died in Iraq.
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Thats when the ‘Condi fire’ started to blaze. She pulled out the finger , got in the young man’s face and seethed through her teeth
Condi: Did you know that the Organization — just answer me — did you know that the Organization of Security and Cooperation in Europe said Guantanamo was a model medium security prison?
No, but I feel that changes nothing…
Condi: No — Did you know that?
I did not know that, but that changes absolutely nothing.
Condi: Alright, no — if you didn’t know that, maybe before you make allegations about Guantanamo you should read.
The young man backed off after this. I was quite upset. Despite the fact that I’m all bark and no bite (I mean, come on. I BLOG), I blurted out at the screen “WHAT MAKES A PRISON MEDIUM SECURITY!?” Medium compared to WHAT? Are we to believe that some ad hoc European committee went on a global prison tour stopping in Canada (this prison is too low security) China (this prison is too high security) then went to Guantanamo and decided that this prison (recently confirmed to have used water-boarding as a form of ‘information gathering’ ) is a MODEL MEDIUM security prison and therefore, everything that goes on inside is the porridge of mama bear? Does that justify the torture? Condoleeza goes on to justify the actions by falling back on this gem:
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” (Waterboarding) did not violate our obligations under the Conventions Against Torture.”
Pardon me, Ms. Speaker. Maybe those are grossly OUTDATED AND AMBIGUOUS CONVENTIONS.
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Laws and conventions are interpretive; abiding within them does not always justify our actions. But because Water-boarding some how slipped through the cracks of the conventions then it is a PERFECTLY reasonable way to get (false) information from a terrorist (not tried in a court of law).
When is torture “not torture”? Is there a torture continuum?
This whole torture debate brings me back to 1994. When 800,000- 1 million people were killed in Rawanda. Time was wasted over the debate: Is it a genocide or a civil war? how many people have to be killed in the civil war before it is considered a genocide? No UN convention had defined when a conflict becomes a genocide.
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Laws and conventions are put in place for a reason. the Conventions Against Torture serves a purpose. Namely, to ensure that human beings are not treated any less than a human being. These conventions and laws are not put in place to find loopholes and penumbral areas to take advantage of, which I believe the U.S has been doing. 
1) Ash Wednesday- No one is productive after a day of eating pancakes. I was surprised to learn during a class that fell on ‘Pancake Tuesday’ that very few people know of ‘Pancake Tuesday’ AKA Mardi Gras, Carnivale, Fat Tuesday etc. Since very few people actually LIKE February and very many people LOVE pancakes I fervently tow the Pancake Tuesday line. Eat them for breakfast, eat them at school or work with comrades, then eat them for dinner, go to sleep and don’t wake up until The Price is Right comes on.
2) Halloween: Dear kids, you’ve been duped. Part of the fun of Halloween is creating something completely out of the ordinary and having your mom to sew/staple/ tape it all together. Imagination and the ability to create is what separates us from the animals (in part, due to our thumbs). Making halloween a stat holiday would ensure people had the whole day to prepare an awesome costume, decorate, and collect candy. Its no fun dressing up for only a couple hours. Make it a WHOLE DAY celebration.
